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11 For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.Jeremiah 29:11 NIV


Happy Mother’s Day to all of our wonderful mothers out there.  This week has been a week of blessings for me.  I have been married for ten years this week and my son Samuel graduated Pre-K on our anniversary.  “Blessed” to the core. 
But I know personally the pain that Mother’s Day itself can bring when you are desiring motherhood and it doesn’t seem like it is meant to be.  So as we celebrate motherhood for our family and friends, I covet your prayers for those who are in the midst of the struggle of infertility or failed pregnancies.  I ask for you to reach out to those in your circle of influence and ask you to pray diligently for them and to encourage them often asking God to wrap His loving presence around them.
Six years ago on Mother’s Day I chose not to go church that day.  My husband Steve and I were down from Indiana visiting my mother for Mother’s Day.  It was year four of us trying to conceive and get pregnant.  I had artificial insemination a few weeks earlier and thought it had been unsuccessful.  I did not feel like I could muster the strength of going to church that day because it was too painful.  Every Mother’s Day became a day of sorrow for me each year because we had not been able to get pregnant.  Every time we would go to church it would be like I was a modern day Hannah.  I would eventually sob during every Mother’s Day service.  I didn’t feel like I could take that on that day six years ago.
I took a nap after lunch that day because I wasn’t feeling like myself and I was extremely tired.  I got up and remembered that I had an old pregnancy test under the sink in my bathroom at my parents house.    For whatever reason I decided to check it just to see if by chance I was pregnant.  I left it in the bathroom on the sink and had not even checked it.  I went back to the bedroom to lay down.  Then my husband came in there to use the restroom and saw it on the counter.  He noticed it said “Pregnant.”  He called out to me in a surprised confused voice.  I went there, he asked why I did not tell him.  I told him I had just taken it but I had not seen the results.  I could not believe my eyes.   We were in fact elated and joyful. It had finally happened.  We were in shock but felt so thankful and blessed.
While I was visiting my parents, my doctor’s office set up a lab appointment down in Huntsville, to confirm my pregnancy.   Everything was indeed confirmed and seemed to be falling in place.   We arrived home and I had an appointment the following week.   They took more labs and did a vaginal ultrasound.  During the procedure, the lab tech could not find the embryo. She could see the pregnancy sac but there was no evidence of an embryo.  She called in the head of the department and she too could not see it.  I began to pray but tears began to fill my eyes and despair began to fill my heart.   My Steve was right there with me, quiet and silent but trying to be supportive and encouraging.   We had waited too long to get pregnant, surely I am not going to go through a miscarriage  I thought. 
I had a business partner whose wife had gone through a similar circumstance but when they went back the following weeks they saw the baby and everything worked out.  This was my prayer and plea to God.  We went back every week from week 7 to week 13 to confirm that there was no baby.  Each week was excruciating pain.  All during that time period I had a pregnancy sac and my body operated as though I was pregnant, but there was no baby inside of me.  They said that the baby never formed.
This was my story of lost hope and despair, but the story did not end there.  Because God had a plan, a plan greater than me or my husband could ever imagine and that plan was to adopt a newborn.  Through the miscarriage God showed his love like I had never experienced in my life, he loved me and my husband through it in a way that showed us He was ever-present in our lives and loved us through this time of lost hope.  In fact, he restored our hope and our relationship with Him became stronger and went to a new level.
Six years later I  still stand amazed at God’s glory and how He answers prayers in such unique and awesome ways.   Each precious family moment, I reminisce in the fact God moved in our lives to bless us with a unique family tree.  I cherish these times with my sweet family.  My husband, my Samuel and my Sarah Grace all blessings and gifts from God and answers to prayer.  So if you are struggling and feel like you have lost hope, I plead with you to not to lose hope in God because His plans are amazing.  Don’t trust in fertility beads, fertility medicines, vitamins, doctors, but trust in the Great Physician and Our Compassionate Creator to build your family because He can, He does and He will if you place your hope and trust in Him.  Trust His love for you and His perfect timing and stand in awe of His awesome glory and believe in His plan for you.  Don’t give up!!  Have faith greater than a mustard, faith that moves mountains.  Have a blessed day and know I am praying for you.  Leave a prayer for me in the prayer garden.  I commit to praying for you and your family as you seek His will and plan for your life in having children.
God Bless!



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