When Life’s Trials Come- Sometimes Anger & Frustration Arise

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I am a type “A” personality. I am passionate and full of heart, but when I have to wait sometimes my emotions and my patience run out and thin. Throughout my season of infertility, I was a basket of emotions and it affected my relationship with others. As I thought about the angry emotions I experienced throughout that season, I have often regretted the way I handled myself. Emotions and trying times never excuse hateful, unkind and rude behavior. It is my hope that if you are in a season of infertility or have experienced a miscarriage and loss of a child that you will place your hope in Christ. I know this is easier said than done. So I will share briefly my testimony of anger and frustration that I experienced in my season of infertility in hopes it will deter you from allowing anger and frustration to get the best of you.

By year three of my season of infertility I was a changed person. I was bitter, resentful and cynical. I was trying to stay positive and full of hope, but the wait had taken its toll on my emotions and my attitude and outlook. I began to resent my friends who had three kids and another one on the way. I would cringe in my very being when I heard of someone I knew becoming pregnant. The pain was so hard to bear at times. I found myself being resentful of my parents and my mother specifically because she had become pregnant with me a month after my parents married. I found myself becoming a harsh, cold hearted person because I was not being blessed with children immediately and on my time table. I had allowed anger and frustration to change my attitude toward God and toward others who I loved and cared for deeply.

As Christians we discuss the importance of keeping our witness intact. Yet we excuse that mentality when things don’t go our way and we feel we have a right to act emotionally and become hateful with others.

When I was a child my parents discussed being kind to others and treating others the way I wanted to be treated. As I became involved in my sorority, my Chapter Relations representative Donna Hayden, used to discuss how very important that we guarded our reputation and our sorority reputation because it truly matters in how people receive you. As I began to mature in Christ, I read books and went to church engagements where they spoke about the extreme importance of protecting your name and your reputation as a Christian. This is a solid biblical truth. Both Jesus and Paul instruct us in the Bible to live our lives in a manner worthy of the Gospel. So my point is, if you have experienced the pain of infertility and miscarriage and loss, my heart goes out to you. However, we do not need to use this as an excuse to sin in our anger toward God and toward others.

When I displayed my anger and frustration to family, friends, co-workers during this time it damaged my relationships with those people some just for a time and some permanently. So you may say how can I overcome the anger and frustration?

First, I will encourage you to try to release the anger and frustration you have about the trial you are experiencing back to God in moments of prayers. Cry out to your Abba Father. Tell him about your pain and hurt because by praying it to Him it will be therapeutic. After all He is the perfect Counselor. God wants to draw close to us in the midst of our struggles, pain and brokenness. Loved ones want to be there for us too, and while sometimes they may not understand what we are going through we can retreat to quiet moments of prayer and simply ask them to pray for us as we work through the pain and brokenness.

Second, let’s take a look at scripture and the classic life events of our friend Job. We see Job question his creator numerous times in the book of Job. He was frustrated, in shock to his very core, sorrowful and broken. Job continued to pray and petition God for answers. He was both bold and broken in his prayer because he knew His creator was there and heard his cries and pleas. He did not doubt this for one moment. When suddenly God sweeps him up in the midst of his storm into a storm and tells him to brace his self. Job learns of God’s perfect sovereignty that day, but he also saw him face to face and experienced his grace and mercy in the midst of his pain and circumstance.

Afterward Job was a new man, humbled but fully and completely blessed by his Savior and Redeemer. I believe having a better understanding of his creator and a stronger relationship with him. I have taken a snapshot of Job’s realization from Job 42:

Then Job answered the LORD and said: 2 “I know that You can do everything,And that no purpose of Yours can be withheld from You. 3 You asked, ‘Who is this who hides counsel without knowledge?’ Therefore I have uttered what I did not understand, Things too wonderful for me, which I did not know. 4 Listen, please, and let me speak; You said, ‘I will question you, and you shall answer Me.’ 5 “I have heard of You by the hearing of the ear, But now my eye sees You. 6 Therefore I abhor myself, and repent in dust and ashes.”

Job said many things in the midst of his pain and broken heartedness and regretted speaking those things. He did not understand why he had experienced such tragedy as many of us do. I believe most experience tragedy in their life at some point, it may not be as devastating as Job’s experience but we may feel like it is when we are dealing with the emotions and pain of loss and heartache. We often say things, pray things, when we are angry and frustrated because we do not understand “Why.”

But I am here to tell you based on what the Word of God says and my own testimony God does hear our thoughts, our prayers, our words and his heart breaks when we face tragedy and sorrow because He loves His children. We see God’s response and stern instruction to Job’s friends who had been hard hearted at his demise blaming him for a sinful life. God sent his family and even acquaintances to console and comfort him because of all the adversity he had experienced. Then we see God bless Job:

12 Now the LORD blessed the latter days of Job more than his beginning; for he had fourteen thousand sheep, six thousand camels, one thousand yoke of oxen, and one thousand female donkeys. 13 He also had seven sons and three daughters. 14 And he called the name of the first Jemimah, the name of the second Keziah, and the name of the third Keren-Happuch. 15 In all the land were found no women so beautiful as the daughters of Job; and their father gave them an inheritance among their brothers. 16After this Job lived one hundred and forty years, and saw his children and grandchildren for four generations. 17 So Job died, old and full of days.

I don’t know the pain, tragedy or brokenness you have experienced through trials and life, but God does. Anger and frustration is normal, but it crosses the line when we sin in our anger with our words, actions and attitudes. But when we humble ourselves like Job did, God has mercy and blessing in store for us that is abundant and beyond our imaginations.

On last thought, Job discusses in the above scripture, that “no purpose of Yours can be withheld from you.” I interpret this to mean that Job was basically stating that God’s will and purpose for our lives will come to pass. It also reminds of one of my favorite scriptures Romans 8:28. I leave you with this encouraging scripture which has brought me comfort in the midst of some of my trials when I did not have a complete understanding but placed it all in God’s hands to trust His plan. I hope it will do the same for you as well.

28 And we know that all things work together for good to those who love God, to those who are the called according to His purpose. Romans 8:28 (NKJV)

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